Marian Williams is a pen name. Anaḯs Nin wrote, “The role of a writer is not to say what we can all say, but what we are unable to say”. The intersection between motherhood and suicidality is a societal taboo, one that we cannot discuss, much less write about. And yet many mothers suffer this unique torture in silence and isolation. Marian was encouraged by the fellow writers from the LRC to share this so that other mothers can feel less alone. The pen name is to protect the identity of her children. Contributing author to the Life Righting Collective’s This is how it is anthology.